Why We’re Choosing Not to Give Our Child a Smartphone

Should we give our child a smartphone? There’s a moment many parents quietly dread.

Your child comes home from school and says,
“Everyone else has a phone.”

Not dramatically.
Not emotionally charged.
Just stated – as if it’s inevitable.

And suddenly, what felt like a simple parenting decision becomes loaded with pressure, comparison, and that familiar question: Am I doing the right thing?

As a family, we’ve made a conscious decision not to give our child a smartphone – at least for now. This isn’t a snap decision, and it certainly isn’t about being anti-technology.

It’s about being intentional.

I Work in Social Media. I Know What’s Out There.

I work in social media. I understand how platforms are built, how algorithms work, and how content is designed to capture attention and keep people scrolling.

I also see the impact – on adults who struggle with comparison, burnout, distraction, and digital overwhelm. I see how difficult it is to put boundaries in place once habits are formed.

So when it comes to children, this decision isn’t rooted in fear or ignorance.

It’s rooted in awareness.

I know what’s out there. I know how quickly content escalates. And because of that, I’m confident this is the right decision for our family.

Access Isn’t the Same as Ownership

Our child has access to the internet at home. He uses technology. He’s learning digital skills that will absolutely be part of his future.

What he doesn’t have is the internet in his pocket, 24/7.

And that distinction matters.

A smartphone isn’t just a phone. It’s social media, group chats, endless content, constant notifications, and exposure to conversations and comparisons children aren’t emotionally equipped to process.

As adults, many of us are still learning how to manage our own relationship with our phones. Expecting children to navigate that world independently feels like a huge responsibility to hand over far too early.

The Quiet Pressure Parents Feel

Smartphones have quietly become a childhood milestone – not marked by age or maturity, but by comparison.

There’s pressure from:

• Other parents (are they giving their child a smartphone)
• Schools
• Safety narratives
• And, most powerfully, peers

Choosing to wait can feel isolating. You worry your child will feel left out. You wonder if you’re being overly cautious. You second-guess yourself.

But parenting has never been about choosing the easiest option. It’s about choosing the one that aligns with your values – even when it’s uncomfortable.

Walking Home, Independence & the Transition Ahead

This year feels like a turning point.

He’s in his final year of primary school, and secondary school is no longer a distant idea – it’s just around the corner. With that comes new conversations about independence.

Walking home from school.
Having a little more freedom.
Learning responsibility and awareness.

And yes – this is often the moment when parents feel the strongest pressure to introduce a smartphone “just in case”.

For me, this is where intentional decisions matter most.

I’m not against my child having a way to contact me. I am against handing over unrestricted access to the digital world before he’s ready.

Instead of jumping straight in and giving my child a smartphone, I’m actively considering a calls-and-texts-only phone, like these simple options on Amazon

They do one job – communication – without opening the door to apps, social media, or constant online noise.

Alongside that, we already use practical tools that offer reassurance without digital overload:

• A Tile tracker in his school bag
• And another tracker in his coat pocket — a brilliant AirTag alternative

These give peace of mind while still allowing independence.

For us, this feels like the right stepping stone – supporting confidence and responsibility without rushing into full smartphone ownership.

Childhood Doesn’t Need to Be Rushed

There’s something important about the years before constant digital noise takes over.

Time to:

• Be bored
• Play without documenting it
• Focus without distraction
• Build confidence away from comparison
• Learn who you are before the world starts commenting

Once a smartphone enters the picture, that landscape changes – often permanently.

We’re not saying “never”. We’re saying not yet.

Safety Is About More Than Being Reachable

Safety is often the biggest argument for early smartphones – and it’s a valid concern.

But safety isn’t just about constant contact. It’s also about communication, trust, awareness, and boundaries.

Our child knows how to ask for help. He has trusted adults around him. He isn’t navigating the world alone.

Technology can support safety – but it doesn’t replace parenting.

Choosing Community Over Pressure

I’ve also chosen to make this decision visible, not just personal.

I’ve signed the Smartphone Free Childhood pact:
https://www.smartphonefreechildhood.org

Because this isn’t just about one child or one family.

It’s about challenging the assumption that early smartphone ownership is inevitable – and giving parents permission to pause, question, and choose differently.

Knowing there’s a growing community of parents making informed, values-led decisions makes it easier to stand firm – especially during big transitions like this one.

A Confident, Informed Choice

This decision doesn’t come from judgement, nostalgia, or resistance to change.

It comes from working in this industry, understanding its power, and choosing to introduce technology gradually and intentionally.

Our child doesn’t need the internet in his pocket.

He needs time. Space. Confidence. Connection.

And for now, that’s exactly what we’re giving him.

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Let’s Talk

I know this is a deeply personal topic, and there’s no one-size-fits-all answer.

I’d genuinely love to hear from other parents:
How are you navigating the smartphone conversation in your family – especially as your children get older?

Let’s talk about it 💛